Everyone has heard of the 5 stages of grief. Well, I believe that there are also 5 stages of emotion that single women go through on Valentine’s Day. And I truly believe it’s important to deeply feel each emotion, the good and the bad. Acknowledge it, live it, and move forward. We can tell ourselves to be strong, or we can live in despair; but I think it’s healthier to feel each deeply as they come and then find the balance somewhere between.
To aid in the process of moving through all 5 stages, I am providing a playlist of songs that I feel exemplify each stage. OK ladies- here we go….
Stage 1: Wallowing– All by Myself, Celine Dion
Let’s face it- it is Valentine’s, so let’s start with the hard part and just wallow in the feeling of being alone. There is absolutely no better song to aid a good single lady wallow than All by Myself, and we can all benefit from having our own Bridget Jones moment every now and then to emotionally cleans. While there are many versions of this song, I have to recommend Celine. Love her or hate her- there is no denying that the woman can SING. When she lets loose on that long drawn out anymooooooooooorrrre-oooore…chills. Whew- can someone please pass the wine? I have some wallowing to do.
Stage 2: Frustration– Love Song for No One- John Mayer
Now that we’ve wallowed, it’s normal to get just a bit exasperated over our perpetually single state. I know of no better refrain to express this feeling than- I’m tired of being alone, so hurry up and get here. Ah yes- a love song for no one indeed. John Mayer may not be the greatest person to look to when it comes to relationships, but he kind of nails it with his observations on how scary it can be to think that we have already met the person and didn’t know it- letting our chance slip away. What if we did meet him in the sandbox and then watched him walk away? Frustration complete.
Stage 3: Acknowledgment- I’ve Got This Friend- The Civil Wars
We’ve been sad, we’ve gotten angry, now we start to think a bit more rationally. Maybe, just maybe, we have a part to play in this as well. I know that personally, I’m very guarded with my heart. I love how in this song they sing as if they are discussing a friend when really they are talking about themselves. The Lyric about how she hides her heart away like it’s a little secret and it’s all she has to give- yeah, I can maybe relate to that. They say the first step is acknowledging that you have a problem- I guess I can own up that it takes two so I can be ready if that right one comes along.
Stage 4: Hope- Haven’t Met You Yet, Michael Buble
Now that we are taking a more realistic look at our single status and thinking a bit more rationally, we can start to get a bit excited again. Yeah, that’s it- I’m just holding out for the good one, the one I can give my heart to. I just haven’t met him yet! Also, the blaring trumpets in this song just make me feel better- there is still hope for us singletons! Sing it, you beautiful Canadian, you!
Stage 5: Celebration- Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It), Beyonce
Ironically, now that we have worked ourselves from face down in our gigantic bowl of ice cream to feeling optimistically Mindyish (can someone give a shot out for The Mindy Project?), we can start to see that being single really isn’t all that bad. In fact, it can be pretty great sometimes. We don’t need a man- without one we are pretty damn amazing and can do whatever the hell we want to. So let’s get our Beyonce moves on and feel like the fierce and fabulous ladies that we are!
Standing Right In Front Of You- Keith Urban: This song is for that person you always see and think, “what if?”
Nothing In My Way- Keane: Just for the line- For a lonely soul, you’re having such a nice time… feels appropriate sometimes.
Caravan- Van Morrison: You can’t listen to this song and not just want to be happy and hang out with your friends. All you need is the ladies, no man required!
Thank you for taking this musical journey with me. Own your singleness, feel the stages, and have a fantastic Valentine’s!